Top 10 Funny Celebrity Quotes




Celebrities and Politicians do some great things for us, but occasionally even the best of them come out with stuff that’s funny, wacky or just plain stupid. That’s when we love them the most.

10. Arnold Schwarzenegger

Actor/Politician

“Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.”

“I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.”

“Having chicks around is the kind of thing that breaks up the intense training. It gives you relief, and then afterward you go back to the serious stuff.”

“She’s either Puerto Rican, or the same thing as Cuban, I mean they are all very hot. They have the, you know, part of the black blood in them and part of the Latino blood in them that together makes it.” Talking about Bonnie Garcia, the lone Latina Republican in the Californian Legislature.




9. Tara Reid

Actress/Model

“I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.”

“God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him.”

“If I work on a movie for two months, I should be able to dance on as many tables as I want to.”

http://youtu.be/9CNwrEtrYFM

8. Dan Quayle

Former US Vice President

“One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is ‘to be prepared.'”

“When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame.”

“We’re all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made.”




7. Jessica Simpson

Singer/Actress/Celebrity

“I think there’s a difference between ditzy and dumb. Dumb is just not knowing. Ditzy is having the courage to ask.”

“At school my boobs were bigger than all my friends and I was afraid to show them. Now, I feel they make my outfits look better. They’re like an accessory.”

“I’m such a blonde. It just doesn’t make sense for me to have dark hair.”

“People always say that pregnant women have a glow. And I say it’s because your sweating to death.”

http://youtu.be/_Szo6rTPgCE

6. Brooke Shields

Actress

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”

“It’s nice, it gives you a feeling of security so that if something breaks we know we can always call a guy over and he’ll bring a drill or something.” (On living in a dormitory at college).

“Don’t waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window. Or break down a door.”

5. Mariah Carey

Singer

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor, starving kids all over the world, I start to cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

“If critics have problems with my personal life it’s their problem. Anybody with half a brain would realise that it’s the charts that count.”

4. Rob Ford

Mayor of Toronto

“I made mistakes, I drank too much, I smoked some crack some time. What can I say? I made a mistake, I’m human.”

“Oh and the last thing was Olivia Gondek (a policy adviser), it says that I wanted to eat her pussy. I’ve never said that in my life to her, I would never do that. I’m happily married. I’ve got more than enough to eat at home.”

“Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine. But do I? Am I an addict? No. Have I tried it? Probably in one of my drunken stupors, probably approximately about a year ago.”

“This is an insult to my constituents to even think about having a homeless shelter in their ward! You want to have a public meeting to discuss this? Why don’t we have a public lynching!”

http://youtu.be/VsjlNNsChZ4

http://youtu.be/50mAxphtFck

3. Charlie Sheen

Actor

“As kids we’re not taught how to deal with success; we’re taught how to deal with failure. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. If at first you succeed, then what?”

“I don’t have time for their judgement and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say, ‘I can’t process it’. Well, no, you never will stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?”

“I’m on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen.”

“Slash sat me down at his house and said, You’ve got to clean up your act. You know you’ve gone too far when Slash is saying, Look, you’ve got to get into rehab.”

“You have the right to kill me, but you don’t have the right to judge me. That’s life. There’s nobility in that. There’s focus. It’s genuine. It’s crystal and it’s pure and it’s available to everybody, so just shut your traps and put down your McDonalds, your vaccines, your Us Weekly, your TMZ and the rest of it.”

“I’m sorry, man, but I’ve got magic. I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time – and this includes naps – I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.”

http://youtu.be/h5aSa4tmVNM

2. Lindsay Lohan

Actress/Singer/Celebrity

“I’m happy being able to play roles with people my age because once you do something really mature there is no turning back.”

“There’s a way of dealing with hardships that are healthier than going out. That’s what I’ve learned.”

“My mum says ‘go with your first instinct’, but this can lead to impulse buying.”

“Normalcy is not interesting.”

“My mom is going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people. But I don’t want to put myself in the position where I’m in a monogamous relationship right now. I’m not dating just one person. ‘Sex and the City’ changed everything for me because those girls would sleep with so many people.”

“I need to prove that I can be insurable again. Because I don’t think I am right now.”

1. George Bush

Former US President

“They misunderestimated me.”

“You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.”

“We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease.”

“Tribal sovereignty means that; it’s sovereign. I mean, you’re a — you’ve been given sovereignty, and you’re viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities.”

“You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.”


Top 10 Funny Celebrity Quotes

Aarden

Hi, I'm Aarden. I walk along the beach in the morning and swim in the afternoon. The rest of the time I just love making up the best lists I can and moderating others. It's a fantastic way of bringing together interesting, important or fun information that you wouldn't otherwise get. Enjoy List Land!

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